i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
