I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
