And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
