maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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