watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
