My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Girls should come with a carfax report
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
