I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
