i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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