i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
