I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
