Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
