my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
