ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
