Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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