And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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