Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
