"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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