last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
