quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
