I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
