You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
