yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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