I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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