Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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