You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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