im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
