My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
In other news, I just burned my penis
Randomize
