oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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