so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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