Your tits are I can't wait for
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
