Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
