Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
