Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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