We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
