It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
