He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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