I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
a search helicopter?!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
3 2 1 whiskey
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
