Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
