she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
