i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
