Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
