make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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