she was so not down for the gang bang
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
