Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
