life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
