Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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