I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
