It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
