Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
