I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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