i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
