It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
