Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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