Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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