do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
