He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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